Sunday 18th August 2013
Today was my 50th birthday. Quite a while age – at least 5 years, maybe more – I / we had started to plan big things for this occasion. At this very moment I was to be sitting in the Ciribiri trattoria in San Gimignano, Tuscany, surrounded by my close family…. all of us eating great food and supping the finest Chianti. On our return from Italy a huge party was planned – my brother-in-law celebrates his 40th birthday later this year, and we were gonna have a double celebration – all the family, live band, food, drinks – the works.
That was then. Now is different. I spent today walking the streets of Walsall, alone…. I’d have loved to have purchased a few drinks to celebrate / drown my sorrows, but with less than 50p in my pocket that wasn’t on the cards. I made do with walking past the local bars and pubs, and watching others having fun. My “birthday drink” came out of a tap in the bus station toilets.
It was all self-inflicted, I admit – to be honest I’ve been dreading today for a while – rather than a day for celebrating what I have with those I love it was always gonna be spent looking back on what I had, what I’ve lost, and what I don’t have.
If one good thing has come out of today its my determination that I’ll never celebrate another of my birthdays, as long as I live . . . .
Goodbye 18th August 2013, and good riddance.